Moving To Denver

Moving to Denver

Oct 15, 2018

Written By Lauren Whalen, LPCC

Moving to a new city is challenging. You leave friendships and the comfort of living in a place you are familiar with. You cannot step foot outside of the house without plugging directions into the GPS and suddenly even getting to the grocery store feels overwhelming. There are street names you are unfamiliar with and not a single recognizable face in sight. 

If moving to a new city isn’t hard enough, you now must navigate the challenges of adult friendships. A common problem people have, when trying to form friendships, is how to move from acquaintance or co-worker to friend. As an adult, it is difficult know how to engage with people beyond interactions at work and group happy hours with co-workers to ultimately asking a person to get together outside of the comfort of a group setting.
So, how do you know how to move that acquaintanceship to a friendship? Often, when working in my private practice as a therapist with clients, I hear people tell me that they think everyone else in Denver has friends and no one else is looking to expand their social circle. I am here to tell you that’s simply NOT TRUE. Humans are built for connection, meaning we are not made to keep to ourselves. No matter if we are introverted or extroverted we all need companionship. With this in mind, I encourage you to take the leap of faith and invite that acquaintance to get coffee, go for a walk around Cheeseman Park or host someone over for dinner. I would bet that they are looking for a friend as well and they would be relieved to get an invitation from you. That first interaction may be uncomfortable and even a little awkward, I have been there my self, but the more time you spend with a person the more comfortable it becomes.
Denver is such a unique city that attracts people from all different backgrounds. Most people in Denver have moved here from another state and can relate to the transition of a move. This city is filled with activities to do and people to meet. The challenge can be that it is intimidating to attend these events alone. There is an app called MeetUp that is intended to bring people together who have similar interests. I would encourage you to check out this app and see if any of the categories interest you. Take a leap of faith and go to an event. I remember my mom’s advice when I started high school and I only person knew one person out of a class of 1,500. She told me “everyone is in the same boat and everyone wants to make friends”. This advice was relevant to me in high school and still relevant to me as an adult. Everyone wants to make friends, but everyone feels intimidated to take that first step.
If there is one thing you can take away from this blog it is to acknowledge your braveness as you enter a new chapter of your life and embrace the challenge of navigating the unfamiliar. Be patient with yourself. Creating a community of friends will take time and even if you have lived here for over a year, you have not failed there is still time to meet people. Creating deep friendship takes time but it is certainly a worthwhile investment. Welcome to Denver!

Lauren Whalen is a contracted therapist in private practice with Insight Counseling Center.  If you would like to schedule an appointment with Lauren, you can reach out to her at LWhalen@insightcounselingcenter.com or 224-374-3609.

Fear of Making Mistakes

Fear of Making Mistakes

Mar 13, 2019

By Beth Barta, LCSW, CAC III

If mistakes help us learn and grow, why are we so afraid to make them? What are you holding yourself back from trying or doing because you are afraid to fail? See it as an experiment and go for it! You are always held in the flow of love, even when you struggle. Back in 2002, I really wanted to quit my full time job and start my own psychotherapy practice. I had been working at a homeless shelter for three years and I was feeling like I had learned everything I could from that experience. I met a colleague at the time that was contracted with the agency to provide individual therapy. We had similar training and background and while I was doing case management, she was providing therapy to some of my clients. I really wanted to do what she was doing. I was looking for a change. She encouraged me to start my own practice and invited me to join a group of women who were also starting their own businesses.

This changed everything. I met monthly with a group of entrepreneurial women and gained so much support. Seeing other women do what I wanted to do was so helpful for me. One way to start something new in your life is to “find your people.” Seek out connection with others who are living and doing what you want to do. This will provide the model, inspiration and courage to do it too! Another way to start something new is to read about it. Spend an afternoon at the bookstore or read blogs online to find inspiration. One strategy I work with people on is to explore what the deeper fear is related to and establish a more realistic perspective about “failing.” There is no Right and there is no Wrong. As we mature we can begin to realize that life is about a series of making the best decisions we can and learning, adjusting and adapting as we go.

In this season of Spring, which is about renewal and new life, what are you ready to launch, grow or develop in yourself or into the world? I’d love to hear a story about how you have overcome your own fear and leaned into accepting that failure may be a part of the experience, but it has not stopped you.

Beth Barta, LCSW, CAC III is enthusiastic about helping you become the person you are meant to be. She will guide, coach and support you in learning the tools to ground yourself, shed unwanted stories from the past, and leap with courage into experiencing joy.